Getting rejected from some of your top choice colleges is
sometimes just a fact of the college admissions circus. It never
feels great to be denied acceptance from a college, but remember
to balance out the bad with the good.
Rejoicing at acceptances and minimizing the importance of
denials is a healthy approach to the end of a period of great
tension and confusion. It's natural to boast about your success,
especially admittance to well-known colleges. But don't treat
denials as a personal failure. Letters from admissions offices
usually cite the statistics of how many students applied and how
many were admitted. These reflect that you are not alone in your
disappointment. Maintain a glass is half-full attitude.
Under pressure
Take the example of a student whose ambitious parents insisted
that she apply only to Ivy League schools or equivalent colleges.
Begrudgingly, they allowed her to apply to two additional,
second-tier colleges as back-ups. Although she was accepted at
two top-tier colleges, wait-listed at two Ivies, accepted at her
safeties, and denied at only one college, she still felt that she
hadn't measured up to her parents' expectations. Weeks after
learning of the decisions, she still believed that she had
settled for a less desirable school, since the college to which
she sent her deposit was not the one her parents envisioned her
attending.
A college rejection is not a stigma. Life's fate will not be
determined by having earned more "yesses" than "nos." The student
whose mother fumed two years ago over her daughter's denial at
five Ivy League colleges is now bursting with pride at her
daughter's editorial position on her college newspaper—a sure
ticket for opportunities beyond the walls of her college. Don't
focus on the negative news. Focus on the options that are
available, citing the positive aspects of the colleges that said
"we want you."
What if no one offers?
Every so often a student is faced with no offers of admission.
This unhappy outcome may or may not have a rational explanation.
It could be a result of the student shooting too high, or having
a poor first semester of senior year. What might have seemed like
a "safety school" a year ago could have become more competitive
if the college received an unprecedented surge of applications
during the current cycle. Whatever the cause, this predicament is
a nightmare for students, parents, and school counselors. But
don't despair: There is a resolution to such a dilemma.
Only a few hundred colleges strictly adhere to hard-and-fast
application and commitment deadlines. What this might mean is a
temporary period of uncertainty. Shed a few tears if you want to,
but remember, all is not lost.
At the very least, you can always attend a community college
for a year, get great grades, and either re-apply to colleges
that said "no" or apply to other schools. Never lose sight that
it's the diploma from the college that you graduate from
that will most influence graduate school admissions and
employment opportunities.
The secret of my success
One great example of this? After succeeding in his two years
at a community college, one student moved on to Amherst College.
He was later admitted to Columbia University's College of
Physicians and Surgeons and now has a successful medical
practice. The years at community college gave him time to mature
and get the stability and drive he needed to succeed. Colleges
are incredibly receptive to students who have demonstrated
growth, and applaud their tenacity and the resilience they've
displayed with earlier disappointments.