MCAT: If the Jersey Shore cast were pre-med…

December 7, 2012
Patrick Boyle

GTL, MVP, the shore store…  No matter how many midterms, finals, or lab reports due, countless pre-meds turn into Jersey Shore during the week for that sweet hour of honest procrastination.  So in honor of Jersey Shore’s last season, team MCAT at Kaplan wants to poke a little bit of fun at our favorite guilty pleasure.  If the Jersey Shore cast were pre-med…


The Situation:  The man. Or so he thinks, might be more concerned about hitting the gym than learning the organic chemistry reactions for his next midterm.  This student could probably turn GTL into GTM – Gym, Tan, MCAT.

Pauly D: Ever been sitting in lecture and always see that guy or girl with perfect hair? Who has hair that perfect for a Physics lecture at 8am?! Needless to say, if Pauly D were pre-med, we might find him walking out of Physics lecture to the local tanning booth, future Dermatologist here? Of course assuming there is enough time to blow out in residency…

Vinny: Poor Vinny, my mom use to make my lunch too… in the third grade.  A freshman pre-med is a scary time. College is new, and the weed out classes are just beginning, you better bet that if Vinny were pre-med his mom would be down there studying for him, or at least hiring the best tutor around to make sure Vinny passes that class. Mom is so proud.

Snooki – Did you ever have the chemistry lab partner and you couldn’t figure out if the ethanol smell was your partner or the experiment? Let’s just get the vocab terms correct for her. You might over hear a Plastid –means drunk right?.  Hipposcampus – oh yeah that is where hippos go to university.  And my ultimate favorite, beta-sheets – those are sheets you only bring out for company.

Jenni – Future doctor or model? This girl is looking good at the Friday happy hour. Who knew she was even pre-med with that look. Don’t let her looks fool you thought, we know she is the future plastic surgeon of the bunch.

Ronnie and Sammi – That couple. You ‘ve seen it in one class or another. Doesn’t matter where you see one of them, you see the other. Always together studying, this dynamic duo has their life planned on the perfect med school, matching residencies and they just might name their first born “Doogie.”  So what happens when one of them fails the MCAT? Oh yeah they got in a fight about whether or not to take a prep course. Guess who scored better?

Deena: The lone “meatball” now.  Not to worry though this girl parties as hard as she studies.  She rocks out A’s on the midterms and is ready to rage that night.  She always remembers that DNA helicase unzips those genes…

Patrick Boyle None entered

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